I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize