i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you didnt know i had herpes?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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