He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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