I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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