I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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