i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
