youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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