5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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