it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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