bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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