I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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