he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
