and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
