He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
