i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't think brook has ever known best
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Randomize
