its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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