I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
