I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
