It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
