The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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