I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
soo... how was my night?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
