watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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