Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize