As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
