apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
