Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
