i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
