so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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