Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Welp...herpes.

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(937): View more from Ohio

after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

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(941): View more from Florida

Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea

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(940): View more from Texas

I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.

(817): View more from Texas

Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"

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