my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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