her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
my liver is dry heaving
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
