Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Randomize
