Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize