p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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