Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
