I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
