Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
where are my eyebrows?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
