last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
