Redeem this text for a blowjob
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think a kid would responsible me up
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
