I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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