Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
