after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
