i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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