Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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