Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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