the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
