No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
