Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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