I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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