what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
