So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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