I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize