barbara walters just said penis...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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