If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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