i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
