I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
